31st August 2007, Tuesday
was somewhat jealous with friends telling me that their parents are so eager to go for the awards day, to witness their child being awarded the dean's list award, to clap and to encourage them.
it's not that my mom acted indifferent or aloof when i told her that i was in the list. in fact when she got to know what the "dean's list award" was, she offered to take a day off just to witness the whole ceremony (although i will probably be on the stage for say... 1 second?). but i rejected her kind intention, simply because i think that her work is pretty much more important than my lousy award. who cares if i get the award? perhaps it'll help in building my self-esteem whenever i brag about it. *wink*
fame and glamour are always associated with the word "stage". but i am not interested in those because i am more desperate in getting hold of that sheet of paper than having stage fright.
anyway, since i did not even bother to sign up for the awards day, i should divert my attention and libido to my final assignment of the semester, something to do with love, which was never a topic of my interest. i bet Freud have something to say about love but am i suppose to being this prominent figure out in my assignment? I LOVE THE NON-SENSICAL FREUD!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
aiks!!!!!
30th July 2007, Monday
Have not been feeling well these few day... have been vomitting and having diarrhea. i thought it wasn't a big deal but it lasted for a few days, since wednesday night. the sensation is really annoying, especially after meals. argh!
went to bukit merah yesterday for a day trip (actually was my mom's job to go there to do some inspection and survey, apparently it's the place for her company's trip in this coming September). i actually promised to go to klang for mei's birthday celebration in the same day. i have to decide whether to follow my mom or to let her go on her own. the issue is that i was actually worried because my mom tend to fall asleep easily even with her hands on the wheel when she's driving for long hours. and i couldn't imagine what will happen to me if something bad were to happen to her because of my ignorance. so i decided to hop on and be the driver, and true enough she slept the whole journey. (luckily i got sean there to talk to me.)
it was really tiring. i thought it would be fun having a day trip but it turns out to be really hectic. we reached there, looked into the rooms, went to the theme park, sat on the chairlift, went to the wildlife park, played with some rabbits, and headed home. i didn't really have any rest, and there's butterflies in my tummy at the same time (luckily i don't have to constantly stop for toilet sessions).
it's rather a long journey back. we departed from bukit merah at 1pm, reached granny's house only at 6pm (we had luch in between, but it was only for an hour or so.). i really couldn't understand why we took so long to reach home. i almost got insane in the car.
but it was all good when we finally reached granny's house. home-cooked food, and victor bb. muaks! love my family most!
Caught you sleeping! BOO YA!
"HEY SEAN! GET OUT OF MY WAY! YOU MONKEY-BOO!!!"
Mom and the nicely and friendly salesperson on the chairlift
Erm... i did nothing... he's just afraid of heights.. haha..
Just look at him! *speechless*
Baby Boo before shower...
Baby Boo after shower! MUAKS!!
Have not been feeling well these few day... have been vomitting and having diarrhea. i thought it wasn't a big deal but it lasted for a few days, since wednesday night. the sensation is really annoying, especially after meals. argh!
went to bukit merah yesterday for a day trip (actually was my mom's job to go there to do some inspection and survey, apparently it's the place for her company's trip in this coming September). i actually promised to go to klang for mei's birthday celebration in the same day. i have to decide whether to follow my mom or to let her go on her own. the issue is that i was actually worried because my mom tend to fall asleep easily even with her hands on the wheel when she's driving for long hours. and i couldn't imagine what will happen to me if something bad were to happen to her because of my ignorance. so i decided to hop on and be the driver, and true enough she slept the whole journey. (luckily i got sean there to talk to me.)
it was really tiring. i thought it would be fun having a day trip but it turns out to be really hectic. we reached there, looked into the rooms, went to the theme park, sat on the chairlift, went to the wildlife park, played with some rabbits, and headed home. i didn't really have any rest, and there's butterflies in my tummy at the same time (luckily i don't have to constantly stop for toilet sessions).
it's rather a long journey back. we departed from bukit merah at 1pm, reached granny's house only at 6pm (we had luch in between, but it was only for an hour or so.). i really couldn't understand why we took so long to reach home. i almost got insane in the car.
but it was all good when we finally reached granny's house. home-cooked food, and victor bb. muaks! love my family most!
Caught you sleeping! BOO YA!
"HEY SEAN! GET OUT OF MY WAY! YOU MONKEY-BOO!!!"
Mom and the nicely and friendly salesperson on the chairlift
Erm... i did nothing... he's just afraid of heights.. haha..
Just look at him! *speechless*
Baby Boo before shower...
Baby Boo after shower! MUAKS!!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
a fateful day...
26th July 2007, Wednesday
It's final... His decision is final... he is not going to stay back in the sucking college although it's no longer expulsion... He's LEAVING!!!!
i guess it's fine, or it should just be the case...life still moves on without you, but we are going to miss you definitely, especially aple...
he walks into the class, holding up the letter and showing it to ms norul (our head of psychology), telling her that it's no longer expulsion and thanking her for all the effort she had put in to defend for his rights and to clear his name. the conversation proceeded to her asking about his decision and him stating that he is definitely going to transfer to UK. We were all surrounding them, ms. norul seemed to be less emotional compared to the other day when i talked to her. perhaps it was because she has already done her part, and it's all about his decision this time round. Aple and Liew walked away, got their bags and went out of the classroom. i have no idea why they did that because all i know is that aple is always eager to see him after the incident. why? why did she choose to get out of his sight?
the conversation ended. we went out of the classroom, deciding where should we go to have a drink. out the corridor we saw the both of them, one with teary eyes and the other one seemed to be fine (perhaps outwardly fine, inwardly not that fine). i was going to say "aple, what gets you so emotional? life moves on you know? it's not that he's dying!" but when i come to think about it, i held my tougue tight and did not bother to lash out those words. she has been through a lot of seperation these few months, with Davood leaving, and perhaps Dominic leaving. now it's kevin's turn. they used to talk to each other about their problems and she feels relieve knowing that he understands. it's something that i guess not anyone of us here are able to do it. i always thinks that she has way too many things to worry and think about and i will never be able to comprehend what she's thinking. the most that i could do is just to send her sms asking her how is she and letting her know that i am her friend.
we brought him to this place near college where he can eat and draw grafitti as he likes all over the place, eg the wall, the table, the ceiling if he can reach. we wrote our names all over the table and with his signature signing here and there. it was indeed a very memorable thing to do. (if the owner were to sell it off i guess i will be the one to buy it). we had a good chat and there were silence once in a while. i guess everyone is imagining what college life would be after he leaves. i do miss him even now... once again aple was the one who does not want to leave the place although he indirectly said that he is very much happy to leave the place (you know... def con).
i went back to college and grab something to bite on again, still pondering on how does UK life like and is he going to be happy over there. 3 egg tarts devoured, no answer revealed.
It's final... His decision is final... he is not going to stay back in the sucking college although it's no longer expulsion... He's LEAVING!!!!
i guess it's fine, or it should just be the case...life still moves on without you, but we are going to miss you definitely, especially aple...
he walks into the class, holding up the letter and showing it to ms norul (our head of psychology), telling her that it's no longer expulsion and thanking her for all the effort she had put in to defend for his rights and to clear his name. the conversation proceeded to her asking about his decision and him stating that he is definitely going to transfer to UK. We were all surrounding them, ms. norul seemed to be less emotional compared to the other day when i talked to her. perhaps it was because she has already done her part, and it's all about his decision this time round. Aple and Liew walked away, got their bags and went out of the classroom. i have no idea why they did that because all i know is that aple is always eager to see him after the incident. why? why did she choose to get out of his sight?
the conversation ended. we went out of the classroom, deciding where should we go to have a drink. out the corridor we saw the both of them, one with teary eyes and the other one seemed to be fine (perhaps outwardly fine, inwardly not that fine). i was going to say "aple, what gets you so emotional? life moves on you know? it's not that he's dying!" but when i come to think about it, i held my tougue tight and did not bother to lash out those words. she has been through a lot of seperation these few months, with Davood leaving, and perhaps Dominic leaving. now it's kevin's turn. they used to talk to each other about their problems and she feels relieve knowing that he understands. it's something that i guess not anyone of us here are able to do it. i always thinks that she has way too many things to worry and think about and i will never be able to comprehend what she's thinking. the most that i could do is just to send her sms asking her how is she and letting her know that i am her friend.
we brought him to this place near college where he can eat and draw grafitti as he likes all over the place, eg the wall, the table, the ceiling if he can reach. we wrote our names all over the table and with his signature signing here and there. it was indeed a very memorable thing to do. (if the owner were to sell it off i guess i will be the one to buy it). we had a good chat and there were silence once in a while. i guess everyone is imagining what college life would be after he leaves. i do miss him even now... once again aple was the one who does not want to leave the place although he indirectly said that he is very much happy to leave the place (you know... def con).
i went back to college and grab something to bite on again, still pondering on how does UK life like and is he going to be happy over there. 3 egg tarts devoured, no answer revealed.
Friday, July 20, 2007
20th July 2007, Friday...
i thought i was coping it very well. this was the second friday i came to class, without him speaking to me in his unique Eichenberger's accent, without his smoke smell, without him annoying me. perhaps i felt awkward because aside from him being in the same class with me on friday, there was none of them (no married gang...). others are not that close with me, or maybe i choose to be isolated from them, partly because they are already "a group". yeah, i still have lydia... *haha*
BIG BIG EGOMANIAC!!!! people choose to help you but you refused to! BIG BIG EGOMANIAC!
i will get over this feeling soon. *fingers crossed*
..............................................................
talking about the friday class. there's nothing in store for me. i tend to ponder why is she here... what she did was just handing us the course outline and depend solely on us to give our "lecture" and write a 20 pages report (i guess so that she could use our work for lecture next semester, she's new u know?). sometimes i doubt that i've went to the right sources and found the right information for my topic. and yeah, where's the Mid Term... *losing hope*
i guess i shouldn't have backstabbed her here in my angelic blog... so whoever that have read this should keep your dainty mouth shut. *haha*
...............................................................
assignments... completed the easiest of all. 2 more to go... it gives me heaps of stress when i come to think about the twos. one of them is about love theories while the other is something technical related to cognition. the love one is kinda a vague topic, i really have no idea how to start and what to talk about (although i am quite skilled in bull-shitting). the second assignment talks about how we come to making decisions and the outcome, with bits of elaboration on memories and mental resources. (yeah, i know that by now you will be able to emphatize with me). *shit!*
but don't fret ah tanz! i know you will be able to do it! stop giving yourself so much pressure! GO GO TANZ!
(another series of "SELF-ENCOURAGEMENT" brought to you exclusively by THE DUH TANZ, sponsered by the FRONTAL LOBE, PARIETAL LOBE, OCCIPITAL LOBE and TEMPORAL LOBE.)
i thought i was coping it very well. this was the second friday i came to class, without him speaking to me in his unique Eichenberger's accent, without his smoke smell, without him annoying me. perhaps i felt awkward because aside from him being in the same class with me on friday, there was none of them (no married gang...). others are not that close with me, or maybe i choose to be isolated from them, partly because they are already "a group". yeah, i still have lydia... *haha*
BIG BIG EGOMANIAC!!!! people choose to help you but you refused to! BIG BIG EGOMANIAC!
i will get over this feeling soon. *fingers crossed*
..............................................................
talking about the friday class. there's nothing in store for me. i tend to ponder why is she here... what she did was just handing us the course outline and depend solely on us to give our "lecture" and write a 20 pages report (i guess so that she could use our work for lecture next semester, she's new u know?). sometimes i doubt that i've went to the right sources and found the right information for my topic. and yeah, where's the Mid Term... *losing hope*
i guess i shouldn't have backstabbed her here in my angelic blog... so whoever that have read this should keep your dainty mouth shut. *haha*
...............................................................
assignments... completed the easiest of all. 2 more to go... it gives me heaps of stress when i come to think about the twos. one of them is about love theories while the other is something technical related to cognition. the love one is kinda a vague topic, i really have no idea how to start and what to talk about (although i am quite skilled in bull-shitting). the second assignment talks about how we come to making decisions and the outcome, with bits of elaboration on memories and mental resources. (yeah, i know that by now you will be able to emphatize with me). *shit!*
but don't fret ah tanz! i know you will be able to do it! stop giving yourself so much pressure! GO GO TANZ!
(another series of "SELF-ENCOURAGEMENT" brought to you exclusively by THE DUH TANZ, sponsered by the FRONTAL LOBE, PARIETAL LOBE, OCCIPITAL LOBE and TEMPORAL LOBE.)
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
i am still...
18th July 2007, Wednesday..
it feels like thursday today although it's just wednesday. i wonder why...
nothing has been changed. i am still very much concerned about my weight. i am still attached *wink*. i am still procrastinating 3 of my 3000words assignments. i am still dragging my feet to college everyday. i am still waking up at 6am everyday, except for weekends. i am still so broke. but i am still going out for shopping spree *haha*. i am still short tempered. i am still with the 'married gang'. i am still depressed at times.
something extraordinary things that happened to me... i got into the dean's lists. funny how i always complaint about how things will get worst when i failed my subjects... and one of the "dean-er" got expelled (how ironic can UCSI be!). i suddenly crave to go for a nice holidays trip during my August month end holidays, with him. (but i know it's kinda impossible because he HAS to work. and when i am almost determined not to go for any, advertisements keep popping up onto my face- discounted packages and a really relaxing and promising trip... i wonder why... it's ok... i'm going to get a really nice holiday trip in September during my mom's company trip *fingers crossed*)
nothing much now... am not really keen in writing anymore after thinking of all the assignments. better get started or else i am not going to graduate this semester...
it feels like thursday today although it's just wednesday. i wonder why...
nothing has been changed. i am still very much concerned about my weight. i am still attached *wink*. i am still procrastinating 3 of my 3000words assignments. i am still dragging my feet to college everyday. i am still waking up at 6am everyday, except for weekends. i am still so broke. but i am still going out for shopping spree *haha*. i am still short tempered. i am still with the 'married gang'. i am still depressed at times.
something extraordinary things that happened to me... i got into the dean's lists. funny how i always complaint about how things will get worst when i failed my subjects... and one of the "dean-er" got expelled (how ironic can UCSI be!). i suddenly crave to go for a nice holidays trip during my August month end holidays, with him. (but i know it's kinda impossible because he HAS to work. and when i am almost determined not to go for any, advertisements keep popping up onto my face- discounted packages and a really relaxing and promising trip... i wonder why... it's ok... i'm going to get a really nice holiday trip in September during my mom's company trip *fingers crossed*)
nothing much now... am not really keen in writing anymore after thinking of all the assignments. better get started or else i am not going to graduate this semester...
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