BaBySiTTiNg WeEk...

17th December 2oo6, Sunday, 12.26am...

I'm sitting down on the couch, with the tv on, and laptop in front of me, and staring at the Christmas tree that got my pair of socks hanging around it (haha, I took off my socks just now and decided that the tree needs a pair too, so I just hung them onto it and it looks so nice and extraordinary!).

Erm...
I'm missing someone...
That special someone...

I had a very very good time being a babysitter at my uncle's house. Obviously I was reluctant to go there because I was afraid of the mischievous kids, and also I knew very very well that I am going to overfeed myself with all those delicious home cooked food (well, what to do? my uncle's maid is really a very up-to-standard cook, and very capable as well. Too bad she'll be leaving for Indonesia for good in 6 months time. I'm gonna miss her, I bet my little cousins too.). Talking about being reluctant, I did ask myself why the heck on earth I agreed to baby-sit them? There's no life in Puchong, not even the tv is functional because my aunt doesn't like them watching tv shows (and yet my cousins are smart people, they got cartoon DVDs), there's no friends staying in Puchong, there's no freedom there, and everything bad. I guess the only reason that had made me compromised to all these are because my uncle loves me. I know he really does love me and take care of me since I was young. I know very well that if I were to refuse to take up the role, I am really a god-damn niece.

But thank god that no matter how tough my life's going to be, there's always that special someone, being there for me all the time. Sean, accompanied me for the whole 3 days. Although he wasn't able to take 2days leave, still, he tried to come home from office as early as possible to bring the kids out to the park.

B...
I missed you...
I missed having you hugging me till I fell asleep...
I missed the way you carried baby Victor...

I missed sending you off to work...
I missed having meals with you at the dining table, where I really had time talking about your day, and mine too...
I missed waiting for you to get home and together we bring the kids go to the park...

I missed the way you carried Victoria across the puddle of mud...
I missed you looking at me feeding baby Victor...
I missed the way you were so angry with Arthur...
I missed the way you pulled the strand of hair that was stuck between the Magna Block and baby Victor's swollen forehead, it looked so funny...
I missed taking photos with you in the room...

I missed feeling your embrace when I was in tear...
I missed you holding my hand...
I missed you comforting my heartache by massaging and doing all that you can...
I missed the way you looked at me and tell me in my eyes that I'm pretty...
I missed the way you looked at me putting eyeliner...
I missed the way both of us looked at uncle's new Ipod, Mont Blanc pen and Rolex...
I missed the way you smile when I decided to give you my Ipod...
I missed the way you feel for me even though I didn't say a word...
I missed you sitting next to me...

I just missed you B...

How long can this be? I am afraid of the future... I really do...
I might be too young to think of our future, it's just so bleak and treacherous...
It's never predictable...
I might just doze off, and never wake up again...
Or things might just get ugly all of a sudden...
We might just fight and our love dies...
But whatever it is, I just wanted to say thank you...

Because
I am loved...