8th May 2oo6, Tuesday
just a couple of days ago i received a quite disturbing sms from my uncle. it might be a really good news for my mom to hear but obviously, a bad news for me. my uncle just discovered a church that he thought might be suitable for me. the church is cater for teenagers and campus youth, juts as what i am right now.
church? i thought i am an atheist now. i am still bearing the religion name (ie christianity) only because i need to make my mom's life easier and happier. but i am not interested to be a churh-goer or anything more than that. i dislike churc-y people, especially those that are really into ministry. i very much think that they are just putting on a persona to serve and to be seen. that makes me wanna puke.
one thing really bad about me is that i like to pre-judge people. if i were to be introduced to someone church-y, that person will never leave a good impression in me. but if i were to meet someone as a friend, then only i got to know that he/she is church-y, i still do treat him/her like one of my friend. and that's why Gwen and Stephie are still so dear to me. (Aw... so sweet). *wink*
my mom kept asking me what had happened in those days? why was the tranformation so sudden? but, nothing really happens. it's just a phase of life, where the sense of belonging was so strong and dominant. i find nothing real in people around. or maybe it was just me, knowing nothing that was deemed 'powerful' about God. i mean, how can people still act strong when there is something really not right that troubles them a lot? they still preach but i thought it was senseless. it was really tiring and i felt sp disgusted.
well, now i just wanted to be happy, and don't want, or don't need any more pressure to keep my life difficult. church? i'm not interested. but it's not going to be so simple and easy to get away with. maybe when my mood comes, i'll entertain them and go for one service. just a way to make OTHER PEOPLE happy instead of myself. what to do? i am trying very hard to make my family a happy ones. can't anyone notice this pathetic potato here?
wee....
5 comments:
Do what you want to do. Like I say, you are just being rebellious. Don't need to make me happy cause it is not with sincerity. You are just being stubborn.
I am real tired. Slap my mouth if I ever speak to you about Church and vitamin.
Your unreasonable and demanding mom
ok then if that's what you see in me- ie a stubborn and rebellious daughter. i'll try my best to get out of your sight if you would really much prefer to be single -ie without the 2 dummies in your life. i know life is difficult for you, i wouldn't want to add onto your burden.
dear..erm..speechless...don noe wat i can do or help..well..my best wishes for u is always there... every moments...be happy..
besides.. i kinda envy d relationship between u n ur mom.. is much more better than me.. >.<
Erm, i donno what to say too.
But just wanna tell you that,your mum love you a lot. We love you too....cheer up,k?
Post a Comment