sunday blues again...

17th September 2oo6, Rainy Sunday night.

Uh... my flu is getting worst. Steph liew, must be you, the one who always caught a flu. Now is my turn, hia... hia... hia... chiu! *sneeze*

Assignment dues tomorrow, I wonder whether I did the right thing or not. Anyhow, it's not going to ruin my mood.

Back to my thoughts, my inner most thoughts. Well, I figured that things that are achieved 'accidentally' are always easier that goals that are planned to be reached. Marriage affairs for instance, when someone promised to be loyal forever, he/she will end up having affairs. Another simple example would be studies. If I were to strive for good results, I would probably score the lowest mark ever. Well, I shouldn't generalize that everyone will fail to achieve their 'planned goals', but as far as I concern it evidently applies to me. Perhaps it was because I am always impatient and pessimistic. I couldn't wait to see the results and always being unrealistic in goals setting. This creates a pressure in me and when I couldn't handle it well, it's gonna create a reverse effect on me. Now, one of my most critical goals to achieve is getting in shape, again.

What do I have in mind? Diet supplement. I am getting dependent on those things and well, I agree that I've been conned by those advertisement. Who can resist looking at those before and after photos and those 'testimonies' about their successful weight lost? Once again I am getting unrealistic, yet I figured that I need to be dependent on such products as those are the last resort and motivation to curb my unhealthy eating habit. One question popped in my mind, what if I stopped taking those supplement? Will I gain back the weights? Or will I become double/triple sized giant? I couldn’t help thinking because those are the side effects that I’ve read about. Yet, what can I do? Who's gonna offer me some realistic solution to my depression? Who? (GOD? That’s even more unrealistic!) Yupz, it's gonna cost a lot, yet sean is willing to pay for it. But... it’s that the most effective solution? Dear, are you really really willing to pay? I thought you wanted to save some money for your course, your laptop, your future...

Vince, Esther, Stephie, Mei, Gwen, Aple, Sweet Yan, Hui Yeeng, Tze Hsing, Yee Mun, Yee Foong, Stanley, Jen, Mei Yien, Mei Sean, Soon Hao, Chu Heng, Chong Li Li, Pr. Vic, Uncle Jit, Pr. Matt, Hockz, Vanessa, Kay Lee, Christine, Felix, Kau Sern, Maureen, Mom, Dad, Bro.

Some were my friends, some are my friends, some are those I respect, some doesn’t even exist anymore... uh, I just miss you all so much...